Changed – Part Two

Darkness became comfort.
I broke free of the scene.
The cold night air filled my lungs.
In the open, away from them, I could breathe.
A dog, huge and soft,
every child’s love and trust.
It rises, I smile, and then reach
out an innocent hand.

Snarls, no, not a friend!
But why?! RUN!
Pain gripped my right thigh,
and for a moment,
I was amazed how I could fly.

The soothing cool dew from summer humidity
on the soft high green grass caught me gently.
By some fleet miracle I was on my feet again
but single-minded to run from the impossible.

Mother is out there,
coughing in the dark,
I hear her.
I hear the purring of her car.
There she is!
Surrounded by her friends,
I see only the bobbing of the flame in their cigarrettes.
I hear their bottles clang,
I smell them, my anxious breath inhaling filth.
My dying breath, bleeding to death!
Is my leg still on?!
Save me! Help me! Run!

I made it at last!
There you are!
My blood smears your car…sorry.
Why are you laughing?
Why is everyone laughing?!
Why can’t I speak?!
No, don’t pour the beer on me!!
OW! It stings!
Silence…ears ringing, muting the laughter.
Only mother’s voice reaches me.

I’ll do as you say.
I’ll be quiet,
just go away,
find somewhere else to be.

I find a hard wooden floor
in the dark of the abandoned house nearby,
sit there alone and try not to cry.
Embraced by black I stare at the floor,
having learned to never trust again.
I know now,
that to you,
to the dogs,
to the whole hateful world,
your four year old child
is nothing.


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